It seems appropriate that this collection of short stories ends with the characters introduced in the first story reappearing.

The Nonce Prize
This time the roles are reversed and the cool headed Danny has become a crack addict with his cleaned up brother running the business. Things go from bad to worse for Danny as the Jamaican drug boss he double crossed touches down in London wanting revenge. Expecting him to be killed Danny is treated to something much worse being framed by two sex offenders with a dead boy who has been murdered and abused.

Danny is locked up in the nonce wing with the other sex offenders and tries to get moved and is encouraged by the governor to do something with himself. He joins a creative writing class and enters the writing prize but is beaten in the end by someone less talented. he is told to try again next year.

There is of course the usual theme of drugs but there are another couple of observations here that stick with you. There is the feeling that writing can open the mind of those that might have no thoughts previously to be a writer; but equally the critics can be blind to talent and reward those without the gift.

A review will follow soon..

It seems appropriate that this collection of short stories ends with the characters introduced in the first story reappearing.

The Nonce Prize
This time the roles are reversed and the cool headed Danny has become a crack addict with his cleaned up brother running the business. Things go from bad to worse for Danny as the Jamaican drug boss he double crossed touches down in London wanting revenge. Expecting him to be killed Danny is treated to something much worse being framed by two sex offenders with a dead boy who has been murdered and abused.

Danny is locked up in the nonce wing with the other sex offenders and tries to get moved and is encouraged by the governor to do something with himself. He joins a creative writing class and enters the writing prize but is beaten in the end by someone less talented. he is told to try again next year.

There is of course the usual theme of drugs but there are another couple of observations here that stick with you. There is the feeling that writing can open the mind of those that might have no thoughts previously to be a writer; but equally the critics can be blind to talent and reward those without the gift.

A review will follow soon..

Stories about the inner workings of the mind are filtered through the kaleidoscopic influences of drugs, lust and alcohol in Self’s writing. He manages to give a straight forward looking character a hidden chemical fuelled depth that makes it possible to warp perceptions. So you end up with cars the length of a city block, giants and doll sized women and drivers merging into their cars.

Tough, tough toys for tough, tough boys
A drug and drink fuelled Cracker like psychiatrist who specialises in helping the Police work out the motivations of lunatics is driving from Orkney to London. Slumped in his car, which becomes an extension of him, Bill cruises through winding windswept roads. Bill makes the decision to pick up a hitch hiker and in the miles and hours it takes to take the alcoholic loser to Glasgow Bill interrogates the passenger but is never asked anything about himself.

He leaves the hitchhiker and starts wondering more and more about a comment he made about the latter’s passion for getting drunk and sitting on large Tonka toys. He had been explaining to Bill how he sailed down the main street in Glasgow when the psychiatrist interrupted to quote at him the Tonka advertising strap line and this book’s title. That shuts up his passenger and as he drives off after dropping him off Bill muses on the fact that the qualities he frowned on in his passenger are exactly the same he has.

Design Faults in the Volvo 760 Turbo: A Manual
There are some great lines in this about England supporters going home to support the club on their own TV terraces. But it is also pretty confusing trying to work out what is reality and what is exaggerated dream. A simple case of adultery becomes dangerous for the owner of the Volvo after he starts to associate the name of the car with the act of sex with his mistress. He turns to a friend he has who runs a Volvo garage for help. But the friend, who always psychoanalyses the owner of the car rather than the fault in the engine, is about to climb into bed with the Volvo’s owner.

It is a clever twist with the car being the trigger that links the adultery of both husband and wife. But it is shrouded again in that mist of exaggerated imagery that I guess you either love or hate.

Final story to come maybe tomorrow…

Stories about the inner workings of the mind are filtered through the kaleidoscopic influences of drugs, lust and alcohol in Self’s writing. He manages to give a straight forward looking character a hidden chemical fuelled depth that makes it possible to warp perceptions. So you end up with cars the length of a city block, giants and doll sized women and drivers merging into their cars.

Tough, tough toys for tough, tough boys
A drug and drink fuelled Cracker like psychiatrist who specialises in helping the Police work out the motivations of lunatics is driving from Orkney to London. Slumped in his car, which becomes an extension of him, Bill cruises through winding windswept roads. Bill makes the decision to pick up a hitch hiker and in the miles and hours it takes to take the alcoholic loser to Glasgow Bill interrogates the passenger but is never asked anything about himself.

He leaves the hitchhiker and starts wondering more and more about a comment he made about the latter’s passion for getting drunk and sitting on large Tonka toys. He had been explaining to Bill how he sailed down the main street in Glasgow when the psychiatrist interrupted to quote at him the Tonka advertising strap line and this book’s title. That shuts up his passenger and as he drives off after dropping him off Bill muses on the fact that the qualities he frowned on in his passenger are exactly the same he has.

Design Faults in the Volvo 760 Turbo: A Manual
There are some great lines in this about England supporters going home to support the club on their own TV terraces. But it is also pretty confusing trying to work out what is reality and what is exaggerated dream. A simple case of adultery becomes dangerous for the owner of the Volvo after he starts to associate the name of the car with the act of sex with his mistress. He turns to a friend he has who runs a Volvo garage for help. But the friend, who always psychoanalyses the owner of the car rather than the fault in the engine, is about to climb into bed with the Volvo’s owner.

It is a clever twist with the car being the trigger that links the adultery of both husband and wife. But it is shrouded again in that mist of exaggerated imagery that I guess you either love or hate.

Final story to come maybe tomorrow…

Most of the literature you will read is written with an eye on being as realistic as possible. Authors no doubt view the exercise of travelling into a character’s mind as innovative enough. But then there are writers like Self who produce stuff that borders on the fantasy because it seems to have little relation to real life.

The result is that you can be disturbed as logic is warped and the laws of physics bent out of all order but it is a different type of writing and worth reading – although I’m not sure I would opt for this style on a regular basis.

Caring, Sharing
Human beings seem to grow up in farms together and then leave to join the world accompanied by a 14 foot emotos that have a non sexual relationship with them by mother them through life. Frightened of sexual contact, commitment and almost any conversation the humans wander round only managing to sleep on a cocktail of nerve numbing drugs.

The irony is of course that the emoto’s, who are portrayed as non-smoking, non-drinking and non-sexual teddy bear type creatures, have a secret life. They have a level of innocent cynicism (if such a thing can exist) about their owners and look on them with pity.

More tomorrow…

Most of the literature you will read is written with an eye on being as realistic as possible. Authors no doubt view the exercise of travelling into a character’s mind as innovative enough. But then there are writers like Self who produce stuff that borders on the fantasy because it seems to have little relation to real life.

The result is that you can be disturbed as logic is warped and the laws of physics bent out of all order but it is a different type of writing and worth reading – although I’m not sure I would opt for this style on a regular basis.

Caring, Sharing
Human beings seem to grow up in farms together and then leave to join the world accompanied by a 14 foot emotos that have a non sexual relationship with them by mother them through life. Frightened of sexual contact, commitment and almost any conversation the humans wander round only managing to sleep on a cocktail of nerve numbing drugs.

The irony is of course that the emoto’s, who are portrayed as non-smoking, non-drinking and non-sexual teddy bear type creatures, have a secret life. They have a level of innocent cynicism (if such a thing can exist) about their owners and look on them with pity.

More tomorrow…

Some of these stories feel a bit like one of the M. Night Shyamalan films when you know a twist is coming and spend most of your time working out what it could be. The result is that you end up not really concentrating on the story but try to out fox Self by getting the twist before it becomes clear.

A Story for Europe
The perfect son seems to be a gibbering monster at two and half and in a world where his mother cannot reach out and relate to him. They look for answers and in the end resort to taking him to a child psychologist. Meanwhile in Germany a well regarded business man starts to have some sort of breakdown and in the end a chance encounter with a German doctor at the psychology clinic determines that the young boy is speaking business German. Meanwhile the business German speaking doctor has a stroke and can only speak two and half year old gibberish.

On the dust jacket this tale is described as being hilarious. Wouldn’t quite go that far and of course because you know a twist is coming the minute the German business man is introduced.

Dave Too
The story starts with a man leaving a session with his doctor and then meeting his best friend in the café. In the café are three Dave’s and then everyone he meets is called Dave, including his girlfriend who has chosen to change her name by Deed Poll to Davina. The psychiatrist informs his patient that life could be so much easier if he only decided to take the plunge and change his name to Dave.

This story works better because it makes you think of a potential twist around the medical and not something as simple as the name. Ironically I thought that this was funnier than the Story for Europe, although of course the idea is potentially just as disturbing.

More tomorrow…

Some of these stories feel a bit like one of the M. Night Shyamalan films when you know a twist is coming and spend most of your time working out what it could be. The result is that you end up not really concentrating on the story but try to out fox Self by getting the twist before it becomes clear.

A Story for Europe
The perfect son seems to be a gibbering monster at two and half and in a world where his mother cannot reach out and relate to him. They look for answers and in the end resort to taking him to a child psychologist. Meanwhile in Germany a well regarded business man starts to have some sort of breakdown and in the end a chance encounter with a German doctor at the psychology clinic determines that the young boy is speaking business German. Meanwhile the business German speaking doctor has a stroke and can only speak two and half year old gibberish.

On the dust jacket this tale is described as being hilarious. Wouldn’t quite go that far and of course because you know a twist is coming the minute the German business man is introduced.

Dave Too
The story starts with a man leaving a session with his doctor and then meeting his best friend in the café. In the café are three Dave’s and then everyone he meets is called Dave, including his girlfriend who has chosen to change her name by Deed Poll to Davina. The psychiatrist informs his patient that life could be so much easier if he only decided to take the plunge and change his name to Dave.

This story works better because it makes you think of a potential twist around the medical and not something as simple as the name. Ironically I thought that this was funnier than the Story for Europe, although of course the idea is potentially just as disturbing.

More tomorrow…